Owning the dark

So, someone I love very much has started to own something they really don’t like.

Not something like a former house mate’s cat, or an obtuse family heirloom that guilt makes you keep by your bed. It’s something darker. Something deeper. Something that has been on simmer for a very long time.

In owning this hated thing, the shadows that were lurking for so long – keeping all of us who love this person so far from them – have slowly started to recede.

Darkness comes in shades. Shadows that are deep are heavy. But in owning up, fronting up and acknowledging all shades of ourself – shadows start to loosen their power. And the fear that often binds us to our dark begin to lighten.

It’s not a lightbulb moment. Far from it. Owning this darkness doesn’t mean it’s all rainbows and sunshine again. It is a slow ascent from the deepest bottom. It’s a hard job to pull yourself up again. But in taking the leap into their deepest fear, their darkest secret, their lurking shades – this person has found something stronger than their dark.

This person has found the small spark of their light.

Think yin forward folds, supported inversions and square balance breath.

Life’s terrain can be unforgiving. Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom to know which way is up. Mountains are hard to climb and storms hard to conquer by yourself. Acceptance of our limitations means we can harness the nature within ourselves to see any ordeal through.

Because often the limitation is as simple and complex as our own mind.

I have been holding the asana I hate for a little longer than usual this week. It makes me all huffy and puffy. My body groans as I sweat and sit in the discomfort. And as mind tells me it’s all too hard, I think of the strength of this person I love. It gives me a power that I find terrifying and beautiful in it’s authenticity and truth. And while their journey is a damn side harder than a stacked dolphin hold – I hope it will be a little easier as now those who love them can hold their hand.

And squeeze it tight.

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