So, my third drawer in my kitchen is full of useless random “I might need some day” items. We’re talking old take away menus, odd salad servers, rusted cheese knives, a ‘best and less’ catalogue with a potential future haircut….
You get the drift.
My third drawer in my kitchen is where I put all my stuff I should attend to, but haven’t got time to.
Well my third drawer has extended out. Like some quiet cancer. To the cupboard below the laundry sink. To the box in the linen press. To the bottom shelf of my pantry.
And it was here at the base of my food chain that last friday (about 20 minutes before swimming lessons) a building smell gave cause for further enquiry.
It had been building for a couple of days. Should have been attended to on wednesday when it started. But in my busy world, sometimes I kind of hope uncomfortable things will just pass on and away.
It was at 4:30 on a friday afternoon when I started to pull out the bottom of the pantry – the recycled shopping bags, the stubbie holders, the old bread machine – that my horror grew.
Something had died.
A wee while ago.
And was decomposing in the bag of potatoes.
Without going into too much detail, there was ooze. Lots of it. Pale, it was so pale. And so strong in odour that my eyes scrunched to try to help my nostrils to close.
There was no-one else to clean it up, but me.
Sometimes we push the uncomfortable things to a little hidey-space in the back of the mind. Where we can’t see it. And we can pile other stuff on top of it. New clothes. A few beers. A different job. So we can forget about it for a bit.
But eventually, the shadows will find the light.
Some will make our eyes open wide. And some will make us want to scrunch those eyes tight to close off our nose, our mouth, our throat and our heart.
Think forward bends, forearm balance and do-ham breath.
A busy mind left unchecked can get in the way of our sukha (good space). We can shovel and store our stuff to places we can’t see and ignore the uncomfortable things to a point. But this quiet stuff left un dealt with can manifest as more than an out of date take away menu. Or a lost salad server. It may manifest in the cluttered mind and cause illness, stiffness, pain….
Or even a death ooze in your potatoes.
Show up to yourself constantly. Mindfully. Kindly. Go where it’s uncomfortable. Go where it’s dark. Go where you need to rely solely on yourself. Attend to yourself and as you do, find the unknown power of heart within yourself.
Because you don’t need anyone else to clean you up. Pick you up. Hold your hand.
You are everything you will ever need.
Now go clear that draw.